Ep. 130 - Start with Yes: Getting a Return on Self-Investment

 In this episode, we’re talking about the magic that can happen when you say 'yes' to the right opportunities and push just a little beyond your comfort zone. Breakthroughs and growth require a series of small, consistent steps and a willingness to move towards the uncomfortable. Whether it is a career move, learning new skills, or other opportunities that await this episode will give you motivation and simple steps you can take to go after the life you want!

Transcript

This last week, I was an emcee at a conference hosted at one of the largest companies in the world. More than 400 people paid to attend two and a half days packed with speakers and idea sharing. Up and down the hallway were booths with different vendors giving out everything from candy to handouts. Many of the people traveled to attend and all of them took time away from their personal and professional lives just to be there. 

In short, they all invested time, energy, and money to be part of something. 

Since I have a chance to speak in front of large and small groups frequently, I’ve started doing an experiment related to this concept of investment. 

Once I recognized to the group the individual effort that they made in order to be a part of that particular opportunity, I then extend an extra incentive. I offer to buy a book or related product to the event that they are currently part of. 

“Reach out to me,” I say. “And I’ll get this to you.”

Now let’s pretend I was offering cash. No strings attached, just handing over a financial sum. I’d likely have a long line of takers. 

Knowledge is a similar economic exchange. Only in this case, very few people will step forward to receive the investment. Why? Because they don’t actually step forward to claim it. 

The Bottom Line on Top of this episode is that we often leave opportunities rather than reach just a little bit to receive them. 

It’s the accepting of the offer that was part of my hypothesis. What actually stops people from taking something that’s being given freely? Maybe it’s not of value to some of them but I suspect it goes deeper than that for others. Have you ever been somewhere that something free was being handed out - like those food samples at Costco or an event with tchotchke of some kind? People will line up to get something for free and sometimes go back again for a second helping!

But when a similar effort is being made like in this case of a learning opportunity, I often hear people say that they wish they could but…. And then I’ll ask them what’s holding back. 

A first answer is usually money–I want to go to that conference but it’s just so pricey, I don’t want to ask my management. So then I’ll say “What if I could get you a free pass?”

A few people will take me up on that, but others then just go to the next reason on their list of why they can’t do it. If it’s time, I’ll offer to get them the material afterwards or make a connection. 

Sometimes that works but more often than not that’s where the realization starts to sink into the person that it’s easier to say why we can’t, than to accept and consume what is provided. 

Episode 129 focused on decision fatigue and I sense this same element when it comes to *wanting* something vs. having the energy to accept, receive, and fully digest what is available. It’s a lot more palatable to ourselves and others to just say “ah, I wish I could-but.”

In today’s busy, overloaded, digital days, I definitely feel this. My wants are far more ambitious than my energy. 

For this conversation, I’m encouraging us to not over-consume things we are being offered, but to be aware of what areas we would be willing to spend energy in order to receive the reward for the incentive. 

There’s a quote related to finance that says: In investing, what is comfortable is rarely profitable. 

The same is true of our personal goals. In order to receive the benefit that we desire, we need to be willing to identify what we truly want and then accept the help and investment from others (whether that’s actual people or tools and resources). Plus, be willing to be uncomfortable with the energy that we extend in order to make progress against that goal.

Asking is uncomfortable. Receiving can be uncomfortable, too. Yet we’re not going to get any of the profits, the fruits of our labor, if we don’t order from the menu. 

For today, see where you have a want. 

Maybe this is a long-held goal, maybe it’s a larger nagging aspiration. Find a component of this want that is simply a first step. So if it’s more sleep, more activity, or more connection with loved ones, start by exploring what is modestly uncomfortable but could be quickly profitable.

Lemme pause on the word ‘quickly’ here. By this, I mean 10 minutes or less–that goes back into the decision fatigue tools. Much like overcoming that fatigue, it’s the initial effort that has the most impact. 

• More sleep: aim to get 10 minutes more on the front end. Because delaying an alarm just adds rush to your next day; 
• More activity: just the act of changing clothes or shoes sends a signal to the body. Movement of any type shifts your blood flow and your breathing. 
• More connection: Sending an unexpected text, voicemail, note takes less than 10 minutes to compose and send. Or how about a live call! Say, “I only have a few minutes but wanted to say hi and that I was thinking of you.” The goodwill of that effort will last far longer than the minutes it takes to make the call. (Or make and send a video for the people that don’t answer live calls!)

These are just starter ideas - and that’s the point. Like my fellow conference attendees, money and time are common and legitimate speed bumps. 

But progress comes in all sizes. Often, all we need is the starter. If we are willing to ask ourselves what we want, then our brain will be on the lookout for the clues on where it can be found and where it is being offered. 

One note on this is to check under your thoughts to see if you might be subscribing to the Happy When fallacy. This is a common internal dialogue from our very tired brains that prescribes success and fulfillment from when a milestone will be met in the future. Episode 45 explores this in more depth so give that a listen if you find yourself putting off profits from your investments and not being able to enjoy the progress you are making in the here and now. 

As you move through the week ahead, see also what wants are within reach and then stretch just a little bit beyond what’s comfortable to accept it. Don’t leave investments on the table - when it comes to our own wants and needs, don’t allow your life to be under invested, and certainly not by you. 

You deserve to be profitable. And however you go about it, take care to always take good care.