Ep. 134 - Thanks & Giving: How Sharing Grace Boosts the Brain

In this episode, we explore the concept that gratitude is a catalyst that has the potential to enhance every aspect of our lives. Whether it is starting a daily gratitude practice, giving compliments freely, or seizing the moment and sharing heartfelt words, discover how practicing gratitude creates a ripple effect that gives us boosts of positivity that benefits ourselves and those around us.

Show Notes: Andrea Driessen TedX Seattle talk: 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6N0U6iri2As&t=2s 

Transcript

In our digital days, it’s so easy to be in skim and scroll mode – getting our social interactions from our screens. I can know a lot about what’s going on with you without ever having to actually speak to you. 

And during the holiday season there is a constant push to buy buy buy in order to give. Instead of connection from a distance and consumption as an action, what if sharing words could be far more memorable than anything that can be posted or purchased? 

The Bottom Line on Top of this episode is that gratitude is a multiplier.         
From a biological perspective, the feeling of gratitude activates the reward center of the brain. And then when we act on that feeling, there’s an increase in the feel-good neurochemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. 

The 19th-century poet Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “You cannot do a kindness too soon because you never know how soon it will be too late.”

Earlier this year, I attended a celebration of life for my former boss and mentor. She passed away unexpectedly about a year ago, and this event was done to honor how wide and well she lived. She and I had stayed in touch over the years and when her husband threw her a surprise birthday party a few years ago, I got to give her a letter sharing how much I learned from her and how she has changed my life. Her passing held a little more comfort in knowing that I had had that chance to share with her how much she meant to me.  

My dear friend Andrea Driessen calls these efforts ‘grace notes.’ She has a wonderful TEDx talk called “Eulogies for the Living," where she encourages us to give the gift of words to one another. She’s a former hospice volunteer, and she often heard those whispered wishes of words left unspoken. Her amazing talk highlights the power of sharing words while we can:

I’ll add a link to her full talk in the show notes, and am sharing some of her words here: 

I like to call this purposeful honoring of the living a “grace note”. 

And whether it’s written or spoken, 

It’s a means of freely acknowledging 

someone's presence and gifts. 

I know in my bones that these sentiments lessen the pain of grief 

and increase its grace. 

Like a musical grace note, 

they're that extra embellishment 

that makes something beautiful even better. 

With a grace notes,we let our let our loved ones know in no uncertain terms, 

That they’re loved, that they matter,

That they are seen and heard and witnessed

your note, no matter what form it takes, 

is an oasis in a desert of people 

who are thirsty to know they're making a difference. 

With a grace notes, she says, we let our let our loved ones know in no uncertain terms, 

That they’re loved, that they matter,

That they are seen and heard and witnessed

your note, no matter what form it takes, 

is an oasis in a desert of people 

who are thirsty to know they're making a difference. 

I love this insight from Andrea and her encouragement to us. 

A quick outreach from us can have a lasting impact. Don’t overthink the words because the gift is the effort that you’re making. A short note that says “Hey, I was thinking of you and wanted to send a quick note.” Is all that’s needed to make a deposit in the bank of goodwill – for them and for you. 

If you are struggling to find words to share, Episode 18 suggests seven words that can potentially change your life–or at least get you started on a great conversation. And Episode 7 talks about neuroplasticity and how the brain changes with repeated experiences, such as giving thanks.  

Gratitude is also a gift to your body. A psychology study from about a decade ago showed that capturing grateful highlights before you went to bed helped people sleep better, and longer. 

As you move through the days ahead, see where you can offer a few words to a few people. It’s not the medium or the message that matters, only that you share – in your own way – how each person matters to you. 

In this way, gratitude is a gift where we receive more from the more we give it.