Ep. 141 - Get Out of Control (Your Brain Needs a Break)

 In this episode, we're diving into the art of letting go-because trying to control everything is exhausting. Just like physical rest for our bodies, our brains can use time for mental rest.  Let's explore how to stop wasting energy on things outside your influence and begin to take actionable steps towards your goals, your peace, and your well-being. If you’re constantly overthinking, worrying about what’s next, or feeling the weight of being responsible for every outcome, this is your sign to release that pressure.  


 

Transcript

These past few months for me have been full of decision making. My brain has been in overdrive keeping all the details in order for myself, my family, and the various parties involved in all those decisions. 

So as the year came to a close, I found myself in a fog of fatigue. I recognize that fatigue is a close friend to most of us. We go and go and when the wheels finally slow, there’s a gap as our brains and bodies adjust to the newer pace. In my case, the brain just felt mushy for a while. Similar to when we go on vacation or somehow step off the daily treadmill, it can take a while before we adapt to the newer, slower pace. 

The Bottom Line on Top of this episode is that sometimes holding on does more harm than letting go. 

As I was thinking about this – and experiencing it, I revisited the concepts from Episode 80, that was about the cognitive cost of being too much in control, and I’m excerpting some key pieces from that into today’s conversation. 

One of the things that episode focused on is that when our brain is constantly on alert to solve and control circumstances or even perceived threats, we spend far more mental energy than is actually needed. All this overthinking and often overdoing triggers the body's stress response, which leads to the release of extra hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. 

And those can often turn into physical and emotional symptoms. You might see that show up such as increased anxiety and stress, an interruption to the sleep cycle, carrying tension in muscles or in your gut, and possibly even experiencing a weakened immune system. 

Juggling the things we control certainly contributes to this overload, but so can spending too much time and effort on the things we can’t control. 

One way to tell is to look for where the worries are. The negative impact of overthinking comes into play when we spend tangible energy on what is not within our tangible control. It is natural for us to worry about our immediate environment and those we care about; however, there are two worry signals to look for. 

The first one is whether any action on our part will have any impact on the outcome. 

An example of this could be anxiety about larger-view issues, like world events, or by being exposed to loops of negative information. For a lot of people, those loops can come from the news cycle. And it can also come from other people and voices around us.

Research was done in 2022 at Texas Tech University and it found that Americans who are constantly checking on news headlines (and there are plenty) will have significantly greater chances of physical and mental health issues. 

That physical noise of news heightens and sustains the alert system and that in turn keeps the brain, and sometimes the body, in a suspended anxiety – and this reminds me of my dog Lucy who goes bananas when a delivery truck stops at our house. She does her job of notifying us about the delivery very well, but then she stays on alert afterwards in case another truck comes by. 

Now, I’ve done a lot of research and have also worked with dog trainers and one of the suggestions in this case is to have a phrase or signal for the animal to know that the activity or threat has passed so they can move their attention onto something else. 

For Lucy, we will say all done. She may recheck the window one more time just in case, but she will then move on. If you find that you have an area where you are over-diligent, or trying to over control, find a signal for you that it is time to move on. And maybe this is constantly checking your email between things or scrolling on social pages or having that news on even if it is in the background. When in doubt, try an actual timer to give you a sound signal that your attention can now be directed elsewhere.

The second worry signal to check is whether your brain is focusing on the entirety of a situation instead of the pieces where you may have direct involvement or control. It’s normal to fall into the if-this-then-what scenario modeling that we do, especially if there are deadlines, decisions, or even some drama. Details plus emotions make for a very loud mental soundtrack and that in turn keeps our anxiety front and center.

One technique that can help is what was covered in Episode 48, called MINS – which stands for Most Important Next Step. When we’re either worrying about something large or trying to control a large amount of elements, determining what a” Most Important Next Step” is can help you focus on what you can do, and do next. It can also help you figure out if there is anything for you to do at all.

It’s also a way to help focus and calm the brain by turning thoughts into actions. An action, no matter how small, can give your brain a positive boost: hey, look at that, we just did something, instead of marinating the mind in thought. Your brain starts to feel a little bit more in control instead of trying to control everything.

Just make sure that the something you’re looking to do isn’t feeding into the worry thinking all over again, the actions should relate to progress not more thinking.

If the small step helps turn the engine on, then the most important next step shifts it into gear. Steps, no matter how small, keep us moving. And sometimes the best way to move is to stop thinking and start doing. 

If you’re starting to feel the spin, check to see if any action on your part can change the outcome (not likely in the case of big news and events) and then see if there are any Most Important Next Steps you can take versus trying to solve the anythings and the everythings. 

Not everything is ours to control, but a little cognitive clarity can hopefully give positive and healthy returns to how we feel at the end of that day.

And for today, I hope you find a very good, very positive, and very healthy elements to your day. Until next time, take good care.