Ep. 147 - Think About What You Think About

In this episode, we explore the powerful role our internal thoughts and the stories we tell ourselves play in shaping our reality.  Are these narratives lifting us up or holding us back?  We'll explore simple strategies to shift negative self-talk into encouraging, supportive dialogue that uplifts and empowers you. Because the way we think about ourselves influences everything—let’s start rewriting the story in our minds!  

Transcript

Hey there – quick question: Do you ever talk to yourself?

Either out loud or in your head? I certainly do. First, I have a dog, so there’s a running conversation with her at all times that I imagine she is following or she’s at least tolerating.

And I talk out loud to myself, as well. These days, it seems like the thing I’m saying most is either: Where did I put my phone? or Now why did I come in this room?

I also have those silent conversations with myself, and those tend to be a little more negative. Why did I do this? Why didn’t I get more done today? I should have said this instead…

Thoughts are a soundtrack in our mind, and they are either adding fuel or friction to our actions. The Bottom Line on Top of this episode is that thoughts are not facts—they’re simply stories our brains create. You get what you repeat, so it’s really important to think about what you think about.

Let’s go back to the question about talking to yourself. Pay attention the next few days and see if there are words you use to yourself when you’re alone or about yourself with others (either in person or when communicating) and take a look at whether they are more positive or negative. Much of this may be subconscious, so you might consider asking some body close to you to observe that as well. 

Here’s why this matters: Saying things out loud enhances memory retention due to the psychological concept called "production effect." By actively speaking words, both by producing the thoughts themselves and then hearing yourself say them, a more distinct memory trace is created in the brain compared to silent thoughts. 

This mental stickiness is due to our dual sensory input. When you speak out loud, you are simultaneously engaging both your motor cortex (involved in speech production) and auditory cortex (processing the sound of your voice), both of these together strengthens the memory connection. 

Another subtle but powerful tool is the fact that speaking aloud requires physical effort (it’s involving the muscles) so your brain and body now register this as a muscle memory. 

With that in mind, let’s shift gears a bit. I want to bring you along on a book club. I recently read a book by Joseph Nguyen called Don’t Believe Everything You Think. This phrase is more than just a catchy title; it’s a principle that is backed by brain science, cognitive psychology, and some good old-fashioned, time-tested wisdom. 

I’ve added a link to the book in the show notes and want to share some of its insights on why our thoughts are not always true and how cognitive distortions shape our emotions and our decisions.

Our brain is a prediction machine. It’s constantly scanning for patterns, pulling from past experiences, and generating expectations. This ability helped our ancestors survive—recognizing a rustle in the bushes that might be a potential predator was far more useful than waiting for actual proof.

But in our modern world, this same mechanism leads to cognitive distortions—mental shortcuts that create unnecessary stress, anxiety, and good old self-doubt.

In psychology, these distortions are well-documented. Dr. Aaron Beck, one of the pioneers of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), it identifies common patterns that we do with our brain like catastrophizing (expecting the worst), black-and-white thinking (seeing things as all good or all bad), and personalization (assuming things are about you when in fact they aren’t).

When we believe every thought that pops into our head, we’re letting these distortions dictate our reality.

But here’s the thing: Just because we think something doesn’t make it true. And once we recognize this, we can shift from autopilot to being in control of which way our brain is steering. 

Neuroscience tells us that thoughts are just neural pathways that fire off in response to stimuli. Therefore, emotions and thoughts serve as predictions, not objective truths–ok, that makes sense. Our brain generates these predictions based on prior experiences,things that we’ve seen, things that we’ve been told. That means that our beliefs and our habits shape the way we interpret reality, daily.

This is where neuroplasticity comes in—the brain’s ability to rewire itself, think about it like an important software update. Every time we challenge one of these limiting beliefs, we weaken that neural pathway. Over time, newer, healthier thoughts (or at least neutral thoughts) can become the default.

So, let’s put this into practice. The next time a thought pops up—especially a negative one—just pause. Ask yourself: Is this a fact, or is this my brain telling a story?

This mindfulness is one of the most powerful tools for stepping outside of our thoughts and better controlling our thinking. Research from Harvard shows that any type of mindfulness meditation can reduce activity in the default mode network—the part of the brain that gives us a lot of creativity on a good day– but also a lot of rumination and overthinking when we find ourselves stuck in a loop. When we are practicing mindfulness, we can start to observe thoughts without getting caught up in them.

A simple way is to start is by labeling your thoughts. So bear with me here–instead of saying, “Gah, I didn’t work out today. I’m so lazy,” try a quick reframe and just say, “I’m having thoughts that not working out is lazy.” Sounds simple, right? But that slight shift reminds you that thoughts are temporary. They come and go, and you don’t have to believe them.

Let’s try this in a larger context.

Imagine you’re running late in the morning (that’s a usual one for me) and you skip a workout that you had planned to do. You might find yourself thinking, This always happens. I’m always running late and never work out. How can I be so lazy all the time?

Now, let’s zoom out. What if, instead, you told yourself: This morning had some delays and I didn’t exercise yet. That’s frustrating, but I can still have a healthy day. 

Same situation. Two different realities. One specifically where you are more in control and the other is just increasing stress and its negative loop. This is the power of cognitive reframing—choosing the narrative that serves you best instead of accepting the first narrative that comes to actual mind.

Your thoughts are not facts. They’re simply stories. Some are going to serve you, and some are not. Your job isn’t to believe everything you think—it’s to choose the thought that moves you best and go forward.

In the week ahead, track some of those negative stories being told. What might happen if you challenged a story? Or at least stopped giving it your own voice. 

Remember: You are not your thoughts. You, my friends, are the thinker.

Until next time, search for the good and be sure to take good care.