Ep. 149 - 5 Lessons Learned from Life Detours

 Life doesn’t always go according to plan. Sometimes, the path we envision takes a sharp turn, leading us in a direction we never expected. In this episode, we’re exploring how unexpected changes can reveal strengths, passions, and perspectives we might never have uncovered otherwise. Whether you’re facing a career change, a personal challenge, or simply feeling stuck, this episode will help you re-frame the unexpected and use it to your advantage. Because sometimes, the detour ends up being the best part of the journey. 

Transcript

For this episode, I’m going to start with the Bottom Line on Top which is this: The path to our desired destination is often filled with detours. And it’s the detours that make the destination possible. 

Just yesterday, the many detours I encountered reminded me of this as I came upon a milestone in my own journey. So, here’s the story. 

I woke up in a sunny San Francisco hotel room. I’d had a wonderful trip there, presenting at a group offsite to a great client and was planning on a leisurely morning before taking a midday flight to go back home. I was just about to head out to find a breakfast spot, when I decided to check the map just to see how long traffic was to the airport so I could time out how long I had to wander around. 

Detour #1: Apparently there had been an accident on the major highway with a jackknifed big rig and a fuel spill. At that point, traffic was on a two-hour delay. I’ll pause here for a quick geography note that San Francisco is a peninsula, meaning it sits between two bodies of water: the Pacific Ocean on one side and the San Francisco Bay. So navigating around a highway is tricky. 

Okay, so time to be creative. I packed up quickly and checked out of the room. I skipped breakfast. And I decided to check out the public transit system called the BART. There was a station less than 10 minutes away by car. So I took a rideshare to the entrance and carried my stuff down the stairs and wandered into the wide terminals. 

I went to the information counter to make sure I knew which line to take and which platform to get on. They gave me the information, but tickets are only sold through a kiosk-ok fine. It was a little convoluted of a system and there was an extra fee to get a physical card. As mine was printing out, I saw a woman near me and she came and asked for help because she couldn’t figure out how to get her card either. She was trying to do it with cash but she didn’t have enough cash with the extra fee added so I bought it for her and wished her well then headed on down to the platform. 

Detour #2: I thought I knew which train to get on but two different lines said they would go to the airport–ok, great. I got on the first one that came along because it was 10 minutes earlier than the other. The ride itself was fine, and interesting people watching but it made a good amount of stops. At times we were underground and other times we followed the highway, where I got to watch the slow crawl of cars. 

When we got toward the airport stop, I noticed there were other passengers with suitcases. Ok great, that means they are going where I am going. The train rolled into a station and a little bit past it and said it was the last stop. As we were getting off the train, some people were walking confidently in a direction and a couple of us with suitcases were looking around with confusion. Finally, I went up and asked someone where we were and it turns out, we were in the airport parking garage area. Simply enough, we would just need to take a different train to get to the terminals. 

Detour #3: After finding that different train, I was waiting when all of a sudden the signs switched and said it was no longer in service. Now there were no other trains, no other platforms, there was just one that would take you to the terminals. Now, I was already over the fun in the journey and time was tight, my flight was getting ready to board in about 30 minutes. My brain had been in solution mode all morning so I was sitting there trying to coming up with ideas on how to now get myself to the airport entrance when all of a sudden the train just started working again without any message as to why it had shut down. But whatever, I was just happy to get on a train.

The detours continued from there such as being randomly selected for an extra check at security to my gate being all the way at the end of the terminal. All in a day’s hopscotch as a traveler. And I was able to get on the plane, I got home–it’s fine. There are times, of course, when everything is on time and everything goes as planned. 

And life can be like that, too. Some days are smooth. We wander through almost on autopilot. And have you noticed though, even with things going as expected, we can usually find irritants a lot more easily than we can find gratitude.  

The reason I shared this story (and thanks for sticking with me through it) is that this all happened just a couple days before the four-year mark of me becoming an entrepreneur. That’s when I left my corporate job and wandered away without much of a map into this new, professional world.

At that time the world itself was barely a year into Covid, and I was barely into being a single mother with two teenage boys. I relied on that steady paycheck and health insurance - that was the highway, the known path forward. 
But that’s the funny thing about passion, it never really goes silent. I had long wanted to go do my own thing and I felt confident that I could but it was all those life responsibilities that made me pause–for the right reasons (I thought). But you can never really water it down, or if you do try to water down your desires with logic, or you convince yourself why this other road is better, those bubbles in the brain always find a way to return. 

If you’re currently diluting your dreams because you’ve convinced yourself (or other people have had a vote in it as well) that the road you’re on is the only one that will get you there, then my wish for you is some detours. That doesn’t sound very nice, now does it? Forget my wish – life will give you plenty of detours anyway. 

Here’s what you can discover when you take other routes:

• You’re more resourceful than you think. You’ll figure out a way. And if you get stuck, there are info booths in different places. Asking for help is the best way to find your way, if not all the way then at least to the next stop. 
• It costs more than you think it will. Not just money like on subway kiosks, but time and energy. And sometimes relationships will cost more. You changing, challenges other people. But that’s never a price you need to pay. On that same topic: 
• You are an investment worth making. When I was preparing to leave my job, I spoke to several entrepreneurs. One of them said something great to me: Bet on yourself and go all in. It was great advice at a time when I was counting every penny and collecting too many free opinions. Now, four years later, I still invest wisely both in myself and who gets to have input on the next stop in my journey.  
• You get to ask people for directions. No matter where you’re going, people have gone before you or they are heading in your direction, even if just for a little while. That’s true when things are rough as well. If you look closely, there’s always someone who will sit by you for a bit while you rest. 
• Finally, send the elevator back down. When you do get through a couple detours or while you are in one, be a resource to others. Not only is it good karma, you never know where the small seeds planted in that moment may bloom much later. 

Okay, that’s it for today’s story time. I hope if you have detours in the days ahead that you see them for opportunities. As for me, I have much more confidence in my journey four years in because of those challenges and changes. I’ll find a way forward, and I know you will, too. 

And if you ever do get stuck, look for the elevator. Someone is sending one your way.