Fewer Things Better
Fewer Things Better
Ep. 181 - In Good Company: The Science of Solitude
Your brain loves patterns — but it also thrives on novelty and space to reset. In this episode, we unpack how time alone or stepping into a new environment can shift your perspective, restore focus, and rewire your thinking. In this episode, we explore the brain science behind solitude — why time alone isn’t about isolation, but restoration. You’ll learn how quiet moments help your brain recharge, improve focus, and reset your emotional balance. Whether it’s five minutes or a full day, giving your brain a break from constant input, or simply working from a new spot, might be the exact boost it needs to get back on track.
Show Notes:
Ep 181 | In Good Company: The Science of Solitude
I recently had one of the most unexpectedly refreshing getaways that I’ve had in quite a while.
I wasn’t at some high-end spa or tucked into a tent in the wilderness. I was in New York City. Yes, really.
I had originally traveled there for business, but on a bit of a whim, I extended my stay for a solo vacation for several days. I’d just finished two weeks of back-to-back travel, and the idea of staying put somewhere — in one place with no schedule, no laundry, no logistics — felt like a real luxury.
Nothing says peace and quiet like me and 8.5 million strangers, right?
But that was exactly the point. The bustling city, the symphony of sounds, the scent of street vendors on every corner — it was all so different from my day-to-day that it actually created a commercial break for my brain.
I didn’t have to tend to anything. I wasn’t expected anywhere. Suddenly I had a reservation for one — and it was delicious.
On one afternoon, I spent several hours in the Rose Reading Room of the New York Public Library. I had my laptop opened and my to-do list nearby, just like I would at my kitchen table back home.
But there, in that iconic room filled with long wooden desks, huge arched windows, and this hushed silence all around me, even though there were tons of people, I felt a kind of focus and a camaraderie I didn’t realize I needed.
It was like my brain had been put into airplane mode; still functioning, but protected from the outside world.
The Bottom Line on Top of this episode is that sometimes, the best company you can have is your own.
Psychologists actually have a term for this: self-chosen solitude. This is time intentionally spent alone, not out of loneliness, but for restoration.
In fact, research from the University of Rochester found that time alone, when it’s voluntary and self-directed, is directly linked to improved mood, reduced stress, and even greater satisfaction. The key isn’t just being alone,it’s choosing to be alone.
And where you spend that time matters, as well. Studies in environmental psychology show that new or restorative environments help shift the brain out of its habitual patterns.
When you’re somewhere new, or where you’re not readily available to the masses, your thoughts get a little more room to roam. And your needs can rise to the surface . When you’re hungry, tired, inspired, it all becomes a little easier to notice.
There’s also a nervous system benefit to solo time. When we remove external social demands, even temporarily, the default mode network of the brain becomes more active. This network is tied to daydreaming, self-reflection, and even memory consolidation.
Basically, solitude gives your brain a chance to wander around with purpose–a little cognitive recess. That’s also when insight and ideas and creative solutions tend to pop up for you. A little gift with purpose, courtesy of your chilled out brain.
Having solitude doesn’t have to mean extended miles and time away. You can find self-guided serenity in places that don’t require a check-in desk.
How about finding a few quiet hours in a public space, or a bustling café that has no Wi-Fi, maybe it’s a museum, a garden, a park, or even just being in your car somewhere but with a scenic spot.
Or a solo lunch — but with no phone, no emails, no small talk. Perhaps, it’s a weekend morning where you go retro with a radio, a cookbook, or a paper book. If the tech part sounds hard, you’re not alone. Yet there are tangible benefits to doing just that. Explore more on the idea with Episode 146: “Your Brain Needs a Digital Detox (Try a Tech Sabbatical).”
The takeaway here isn’t about booking some getaway. You don’t have to get away. It’s about a give-to-get. Specifically, giving yourself permission to think about, plan for, and serve the needs of just you.
A chance to step away from the pull of productivity. To spend time with no agenda. In this case, solitude is not about escape. It’s about reconnecting to your own thoughts, your energy, your inner narrator.
So if an extended break isn’t in the cards right now, start with hours, not days. And don’t overthink it. Find a setting that just lets your brain breathe, feel your senses soften, and maybe let your nervous system take a deeper breath.
Choose solitude, choose being alone not as a retreat… but as a return, back to the you that can get lost in all the noise.
The world will turn without you and it will also be waiting impatiently with all its demands soon enough. Until then, enough is enough. And you’re enough.
So however you can, make time to take time with yourself. You’ll be in great company.